Well that was emotional............

The doctors first told me that I need to be positive��������� well the last week has been on another level. So many dear friends from all over the world started to arrive last week, for Kyla and Dan�s big day. I have been overwhelmed by the many beautiful cards and well-wishers and kind people who made the effort to join us on this special day. Kyla naturally looked stunning and I have to say that the Dan we first met to the Dan that stood at the front of the aisle waiting for Kyla, are two very different people. They both make the perfect couple and to use Kyla�s words, they �fit together like a puzzle�! And.... to top it all, we found out that it's a little girl, 'Team Girl'!  Katie, organised the a fantastic 'baby reveal', I think, looking back over the pink and blue card being held up by everyone, there appeared to be an equal split of 'is it a girl' or 'is it a boy' across the guests!

Lots of emotional tears were shed, it was the perfect day.

Justin, our dear friend, (who felt Kyla kick in my tummy well before she was born) , had me in tears. His blessing was outstanding and without a doubt the best and most fitting I have ever heard. Profound, sensitive, meaningful, emotional and it meant the world to us that he agreed to marry Dan and Kyla. Thank you Justin ( and Alison, who no doubt knew the words by heart )

I have to admit that the last week, I have not been sticking to the new healthy regime I had been living on. I am back on now.  Very interesting to see how my PH level has fallen in such a short time. I am not working on getting it back up again to 7. Marieke brought me more Muringa seeds from China, which we planted yesterday, that should help once I can eat the leaves.

In the meantime, whilst I have been engrossed in the wedding, Jan has continued to search alternatives for his son Jan.

He had a meeting with the Budwig Centre, who I am hoping to see next week. They offer the oxygen therapy, which I have been looking for.  So far I had only located it in the Huffeland clinic in Germany. Fantastic to think that I can have it here in Malaga.

Yesterday was my third Herceptin day, this time, Robyn ( from New Zealand)  came with me and I have to say, time flew by. Yes, the IV hurt like a mother, I think the veins in my hand are getting tired of being pricked all the time, but I could not help but be distracted by Robbie�s �we will rock you� version in the background! ( not sure the nurse appreciated or understood it! )

Friends, food, fun, .......the countdown has begun...........

Had a great day yesterday with all the girls, whilst the boy were on Dan�s stag do. I have in my head decided that over the next couple of days, I will struggle to stick to the food I have been eating, but that more importantly I won�t stress out about it. Next week, I will go back to healthy living.  After a late night last night, we are getting ready for lunch in Frigiliana followed by a BBQ in our house.  The big count down has begun, the day before the big day!

In the meantime, Cannabis oil seems to be getting a lot of media coverage recently, or maybe it is just my �red car� theory and I am noticing it more.

https://www.facebook.com/ibolya.krkoska/posts/1319985118041857
The idea that cannabis kills cancer cells seems to no longer be a conspiracy theory in the United States. With this information, can any state legitimately say no to medicinal marijuana?

Or could it even be considered a preventative herb to avoid getting cancer?

Amy Willis with Metro says that the US government has added a page on the use of cannabis and cannabinoids to their official cancer advice website.

Willis advises, �The National Cancer Institute, part of the US Department of Health, now advises that �cannabinoids may be useful in treating the side effects of cancer and cancer treatment� by smoking, eating it in baked products, drinking herbal teas or even spraying it under the tongue.�

The official government site has a long list of medicinal uses of cannabis, including: Anti-inflammatory activity, pain relief, anti-anxiety, stress relief, anti-tumor, antiviral activity and relieving muscle spasms caused by multiple sclerosis, and many many more.

The site goes on to talk about how cannabis has been proven to destroy cancer cells in lab experiments.

Willis continues, �Several scientific studies have suggested this in the past, and in April this year the US government�s National Institute on Drug Abuse revised their publications to suggest cannabis could shrink brain tumors by killing off cancer cells.�

If the United States government is finally willing to admit these benefits and that cannabis has been proven to kill cancer cells, then will other western nations follow suit?

If good health and decreasing cancer rates is important to you, then contact your government and tell them about the great benefits of cannabis � a natural herb that has a long list of benefits without the side effects of man-made cancer treatments.

Source: https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/cam/patient/cannabis-pdq

Helping others................

I saw on Rick Simpson�s face book page, that he is raising money for a good friend, Donna,  who  has cancer and who suffered through Chemo, which did not cure the cancer. The next step now is to start the Cannabis oil treatment, which is not cheap. So if anyone would like to help then I have no doubt it would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.facebook.com/ricksimpsonofficial/posts/1097987120248426

I am also hoping (strange, I nearly wrote 'praying', I think it is a figure of speech for me), that Jan, a young boy of only 13 years with osteosarcoma ( cancer in the bone), responds well to his conventional treatment, as well as the now alternative treatment and changed diet. 

I have spent some time to talking to his parents and even though the initial purpose was to show them that there are options, which might not necessarily be mentioned by the surgeons and oncologists, I have to say, even though I did not expect it, I have learned from Jan, his  father, that there is a clinic in Estepona, which might help me. They offer oxygen therapy, which is one of the treatments, I was very interested in , when I discussed my possible stay in the Huffeland clinic. Hopefully I can get an appointment next week, so meet with them.

More information coming to light, which again links back to the importance of diet. Cancer loves an acidic environment.  

https://www.facebook.com/nickkie.findlay/posts/10154489744037154

Having said that, my diet is a little off balance this week, due to the many arriving visitors for Kyla and Dan�s wedding. I will compensate for it next week, but for now, I do not feel guilty having a glass of wine and even had some beautiful white chocolate from New Zealand. ( Thank you Robbie and Craig!!) The first 'arrivals' earlier this week!

Red cars.............

I call this the �red car theory�. You buy a red car and suddenly the roads seems filled with red cars, it seems to the only colour you notice.

Well in a somewhat similar way, I feel like this about alternative treatment. Since I first started to look into this vast subject of �alternative therapy�, apart from it snowballing, I seem to come across more and more that supports my thinking and approach, but also notice that there appears to be more coverage in the media.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/cannabis-legalisation-nick-clegg-backs-campaign-calling-for-medical-use-of-drug-a6866271.html

How long will the pharmaceutical companies manage to stifle anyone who can prove that other treatments actually cure cancer?

I am not poo pooing ( not sure how you spell this), traditional medicine and for many no doubt it is the solution.  However, if there are so many natural remedies, then why are authorities trying to stop them from being developed, sold, cultivated, their results published? Why not offer both? Why can�t one run alongside the other, officially?

If sugar fuels cancer cells, then why does not doctor, no oncologist tell a cancer patient to simply cut out all sugar from their diet?
https://dep38mt4zc9f9.cloudfront.net/downloads/TTAC-Eliminate-Sugar-Report.pdf

If for example the Muringa tree ( I eat three leaves each day now) is one of the most nutritious  plants you can get / eat / consume, then why is this not publicly advertised?

If Apricot stones ( ok they don�t taste to nice, a little bitter) are one of the best ways of strengthening the immune system, then why do most people not know about it?

If Bi-carbonate soda is believed to kill cancer cells, then why is this not advertised on TV alongside the Nurofen ads?

I won�t go into too much detail of the benefits of Cannabis oil (I am not talking about smoking it), as the list is too long to mention.

I can only conclude it boils down to money!

If I believe the latest report I read, then Mammograms cause cancer!? Imagine if this is correct, just for a second, would that answer the question as to why Breast cancer is on the increase?  I do remember 18 months ago, I had my government mammogram, as I am over the tender age of 50.  It was by far the most singularly painful experience in my life. It made child birth feel like a walk in the park. For any men reading this, imagine putting your nearest dearest cherish friend on a slap of wood and somebody crashed down on it with a sledge hammer. That, is what the �pancake mammogram� ( not my description) felt like. If this is true, I suffered the pain for nothing and if anything it might just have kick started my breast cancer������..

Episode 1: The True History of Chemotherapy & The Pharmaceutical Monopoly
(Go here to watch now)

Episode 2: Cancer Facts and Fictions, Breast Cancer, Hormones, Skin Cancer & Essential Oils
(Go here to watch now)

On a wonderful superficial positive note�������. I know it is terribly superficial, but humor me, I want to go back to feeling normal again and part of feeling �normal again�, is to have some hair on my head!

Well, this is how I first noticed that clearly my �hair� started to grow again, with sheer horror, I noticed a black hair above my top lip!!!!!!!!!!!! What is this all about, I never had a hair on my lip before and quite honestly, the only place I want some hair is guess where�����..on my HEAD!

Thankfully a couple of days, after I ripped the stray hair off my top lip, I noticed some happenings on my head. Hallelujah, I have spotted �baby fluff�.  I don�t much care for the colour, which appears to be black and white, much like my approach to life, but come on, I want blond back. I guess I am ungrateful, any colour should do. ( BTW, you need to look really closely to spot the 'baby fluff'!)

Slowly slowly.......................

Music to my ears..............

MPs urge Government to legalise medical cannabis in the UK James Matthews, Sky Correspondent

Cannabis should be available on prescription, according to the all-party group on drug policy reform.

A seven-month study has concluded that the drug is an effective treatment and should be made available over the counter.

Baroness Molly Meacher, co-chair of the All Party Parliamentary Group said: "Cannabis works as a medicine for a number of medical conditions. 

"The evidence has been strong enough to persuade a growing number of countries and US states to legalise access to medical cannabis.

"Against this background, the UK scheduling of cannabis as a substance that has no medical value is irrational."

Cannabis, a class C drug, is illegal in the United Kingdom. As a medicine, it is used legally in a number of countries and US states.

There is, however, a vocal lobby against copying the practice in the UK.

Dr Robert Lefever, a former GP and addiction specialist, favours access to cannabis as a treatment but acknowledges that the drug does have downsides.

He told Sky News: "Not everybody who uses cannabis is addicted to it, but some are, and these are the people I'm concerned for.

"We shouldn't use cannabis as a cure-all. Cannabis specifically damages mood, memory and motivation, and that's not helpful.

"If the Government is going to legalise medicinal use, it needs to be aware of people who would take it, if they possibly could, for any reason." 

Jay Denton, from Colchester, suffers from multiple sclerosis and uses cannabis to alleviate her symptoms.

The 47-year-old has to ask her care assistant to go and buy cannabis from a dealer when her supplies need topping up.

She told Sky News that the drug should be available over, not under the counter.

Ms Denton added: "Out of all of the therapies I've done, cannabis is the cheapest and probably costs me about �20 to �25 a month.

"Being able to take away the criminality in medical cannabis will mean that I don't have to be concerned about sharing my experiences with other people.

"I'm a law-abiding person, I don't like breaking the law. If it wasn't helping so much, I wouldn't be touching it.

"It's vital that we get to a situation where we catch up with a lot of countries around the world that are saying 'we can see the benefits of this'." 

Ms Denton said allowing the sale of medicinal cannabis in a regulated manner will help some people to live, rather than just exist.

Obsessed?

I was told that I was �obsessed with cancer� yesterday. Initially I was upset by the comment, but on reflection, I think the statement is correct. The first thing I think about when I open my eyes is �cancer�, my days are filled with �cancer� and the last thing I think about at night is �cancer�.

That sounds like a sweeping statement,  I don�t just think �cancer�, but  it is there in my mind in everything I say or do.

I am so conscious that there is nobody monitoring my progress now. I opted out of Protocol and the doctors within their �chimneys of responsibility�, have written me off as a patient they are / were treating.

My gynecologist has done her job, she found the tumor, until I see her again for the normal yearly checkup, there is no need to see her.  

The surgeon has done his job. He removed the tumor.

The oncologist just saw �50000 disappear as a result of me not carrying with Chemo. Whilst theoretically he is overseeing my Herceptin treatment, his �meetings� last less than 4 minutes, where he photo copies my blood test results.

The radiologist is frustrated that I have decide against radiotherapy and I don�t have a reason to see her again.

I understand, I don�t fall within any of their responsibility now. So yes, I am �obsessed�. Whether people agree with my decision or not, I am basically now self-treating / self-healing and hope to hell it works. Time will tell. Remember my email I sent to my family weeks ago, where I said, �fucked either way�, well I am really.

If my self-treatment does not prevent cancer popping up somewhere else in my body, the world is likely to think / say : � what did you expect?� and of course they are right. The same can be said if I had continued on the �Chemo train� and developed secondary illnesses, which are within the �normal acceptability�, then I would say to myself, �what did you expect?�

And yes, I have started to develop something pretty annoying, I side effect. I researched it, I believe it is called �Tinnitus�. I have had an awful �ringing sound� in my ear for a few days now. It is particularly notable at night, when there are no other sounds to be heard.  Fascinating what I read.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tinnitus/symptoms-causes/dxc-20180362
A common cause of tinnitus is inner ear cell damage. Tiny, delicate hairs in your inner ear move in relation to the pressure of sound waves. This triggers ear cells to release an electrical signal through a nerve from your ear (auditory nerve) to your brain. Your brain interprets these signals as sound. If the hairs inside your inner ear are bent or broken, they can "leak" random electrical impulses to your brain, causing tinnitus.
Other causes of tinnitus include other ear problems, chronic health conditions.

Whilst I am not enjoying having a permanent sound in my ear, at least I know what is causing it. So even the hairs ( which I can�t see) inside my ears have fallen out. My father in law, who I loved nearly as much as Geoff, would have said, �Well son, I�ll be blowed�. Remarkable!

Saved myself a trip to the doctor, who no doubt would have taken the opportunity to tell me how na�ve I am, not continuing with Chemo or not starting Radiotherapy.

Even though �Cancer� is in the forefront of my mind most of the time, there are so many other things happening right now, which put a smile on my face.

Rhea has just completed, the �Mudder 2016� challenge.  And even though she claimed not to have trained, she seems to have done an amazing job. I am really proud of her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaKNaWDgfFA

Kyla who is working flat out dealing with rude holiday makers on a daily basis, including having to deal with the �emergency phone� day and night. Why do people think it is ok to call at 04.00am in the morning to report their �emergency� of �I can�t get the internet to work�? Why do people ask for compensation the minute their taxi ( who does not work for us) is late? Why do people threaten with TripAdvisor, if we don�t agree to giving a discount? Despite all this, our little grand child ( I am sure it�s a girl !!!) is growing, no doubt listening to all the unreasonable demands being put on Kyla.

And Jack, who is literally working around the clock, has just told us that he will stay for a few days after the wedding. I am over the moon, even though he has surprised me a couple of times by popping over, he could only ever stay 24 hours. It will be great to catch up with him. We might be able to all have a great night in Malaga, now that our other apartment is finally completed.

Obsessed about cancer? Yes, I am, naturally. But I am also excited about so many other things happening in our life's, 2 weeks until the wedding. 2 weeks until so many people from all over the world come and join us for Kyla and Dan's wedding. Robbie and Craig from New Zealand, Farmer from Singapore, Michael and Rebecca from China, Cheese from the States, Marieke from Holland and so many more..................... it will be a fantastic day, weekend, week!!!

Not one of my best days...........

After a sleepless night, (my head would not stop�..)

I turned up at the hospital on time, in true German fashion. Silly me really, you would have thought that I would have learned by now. After a 30 min wait to see the oncologist (a stand-in for the normal chap I see), he greeted me with a handshake, whilst looking anywhere but me. I have always been a stickler for eye contact and always worked on the basis of �don�t trust someone who can�t look at you)

The 15 min scheduled meeting took less than 5 min and the only words he said where: �You are not doing Radiotherapy� (said as a statement, not a question)

�Your white blood cells are below average, but that normal� (I would question, how �normal� can be associated with �below average�. In fact, as he said that I could not help thinking about my �below average� performance in Math at school. Wish my father had known then that this equates to �normal�, this would have saved some upsetting moments) I digress.

Meeting with Oncologist over, I walked dutifully upstairs to the �poison rooms�, only to be told that none were free and that I had to venture downstairs again, until �later�.

When I eventually was called, I have to say, retrospectively I don�t know why I was so keen to get up there (I know why, I just wanted to get this over and done with), the �nurse� did a grand job in not getting the IV into the vein. I hurt (to use my son�s expression), �like a mother�. In fact, for the one hour the Herceptin was dripping into me, I was in some pretty impressive pain. Every cold drop of the liquid going into the vein and travelling up my arm, I felt and wished the stuff would drip a little faster.

The side effects of the pain �all over my body� kicked in quite quickly and are still ongoing.  

Having felt sorry for myself for most of the day, which I admit it quite pathetic, but hey, can�t smile every day, I did smile when I received Tobers�s message below:

Don�t like you with bald head - you need to get some hair. Hope you are wearing a wig for the wedding. Two bald gits is too many.

Tobers if you are reading this, I have bad news, there will be a lot more bald heads than just two ( Geoff and myself) at the wedding! I won�t be on my own!!!

More natural supplements...........

I received a mail from my dear friend Alison last night, she sent the link below. It covers the Lancet report, carried out by Cancer Research UK and Public Health England ������.and dare I say, it concludes the article with my favored and preferred alternative treatment.

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/chemotherapy-study-cancer-patients/

I told Alison that I very much appreciate her mail and the link, particularly as I am aware that some of our �cancer� friends, are terribly worried about me �opting out�. Don�t be worried! I will be, I am,  fine, in fact I am great. The only link / reminder to cancer I have, is my bald / fluffy bald head!

We planted two Moringa trees yesterday! This will hopefully aid to strengthening my immune system. Quite fascinating, what you can learn. Nature is truly amazing.

https://www.tentree.com/blog/benefits-of-the-moringa-oleifera-tree/

I am trying to order a Sambung Nyawa tree. ( the translation from Malaysian mean: 'Expand life'.

The garden centres here have not heard of it, I will therefore try to buy some seeds via the internet.

There is a long list  of health benefits, but I will be using the leaves to fight cancer. ( now all 'medically minded' people who are reading this, don't write me off just yet. You never know this might just work)

I nearly forgot about my blood test today, ready for Herceptin tomorrow. I have still not made up my mind if I will have 6 or 12 months treatment. Need to read up and talk to more people.

Turning a corner...........

Superficial , I know, but, to my delight I have spotted some �baby fluff� growing in my  head. That must mean that the �chemical poison� ( alternatively referred to as Chemotherapy) is leaving my body, slowly, finally. Well, I hope so at last.

It is remarkable how this one Chemo session has knocked me over. To think that not only my hair fell out within 14 days of having the Chemo session, but the side effects I was told I �might� have, I had. One of the many side effects of the Chemo I had, was to �put on weight�. Initially I could not understand that, if you feel sick and can�t eat, how on earth do you put on weight. Well, I am living proof for that.
I have been living off fruit, veggies, pulses and salad with the occasional turkey breast thrown in. Do dairy, no meet, no sugar, no fat,  no bread, no pasta, etc ( Rebecca you would be so proud of me. Who would have thought I would join the �almost� veggie club). Anyway my point being, I have not lost half an ounce.  Not that I am trying to lose weight, I am actually more fascinated by the effects of Chemo.  Living of less than approx. 1000 calories, eating no fat, no sugar, yet, I am sitting very comfortable in my padded backside. 
Therefore in theory, if the Chemo is eventually now working itself out of my body, 8 weeks later, after the one session, my hair ( can�t call it hair just yet, but �baby fluff� all white and grey, but beggars can�t be choosers. Guess white fluff is better than shiny bald) appears to be doing something, other than falling out, so maybe my body, metabolism, immune system etc is also on the up.

So on that note, I will enjoy our home grown, grape and melon juice. ( even though the thought of an ice cold G&T, seems so appealing, but is part of another world now)  

My next  ( second)

Herceptin day is next week!

More information...........my brain is on overload

I now wonder how I managed to work full time, 18 hours a day, every day for so many years. How much did I miss!? How much there is there to learn and I had no idea.
Well I am making up for it a little. The last three months have been a truly amazing experience.

3 months ago, I had the tumor removed.

3 months ago, my world fell apart.

3 months ago, I thought my life was over.

It was over as I knew it and I would now say, what a great turning point in my life.

Yesterday I met Vanessa near Marbella. Her knowledge about the benefits and usage of Cannabis oil is mind blowing. She does not make it herself, but she helps people obtain it. 

I am going to follow the Rick Simpson ( http://www.cureyourowncancer.org/rick-simpson.html ) treatment in October, after Kyla and Dan�s wedding. 

Reading the testimonials of people who were cured, from Skin Cancer, to Hodgkins Lymphoma, Prostrate Cancer and many more, is very encouraging.

The treatment involves high dosage of the oil  ( with a high THC content) to be taken for a minimum of 60 days. I have started to take one drop and it knocks me out. I can�t remember sleeping like this, ever, I think. My plan is to increase the dosage over the next 6 weeks. As I have never used or smoked Cannabis before, I guess my threshold is very low at the moment.

In addition I am also taken Bi-carbonate soda every day, as well as Apricot stones. ( more about that later)

I would add that I our home grown fruit and veg are hopefully helping my recovery. 

Line, ( thank you so much Line!!!!) has sent me the most amazing cook book. �Deliciously Ella�. So after picking our spinach and aubergines tonight, I have found the perfect recipe!

As I am researching further and more, I still inevitably come across conventional reports, like the one below:

http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/chemo-kills-up-to-50-percent-of-patients-in-some-hospitals/

�I think it�s important to make patients aware that there are potentially life threatening downsides to chemotherapy. And doctors should be more careful about who they treat with chemotherapy.�
-Professor David Dodwell, Institute of Oncology, St James Hospital, Leeds, UK.

Here�s a surprising statement from one of the study�s authors, Dr. Jem Rashbass:
�The easiest way not to kill your patients with chemotherapy is not to give it to anyone,
and that is clearly wrong.�

Whilst I feel so very sorry for all the people who have suffered through lengthy Chemo sessions and those that had an unhappy end to their lives, reading the report yet again reiterates my belief that I have made the right decision in �opting out of Protocol�. Might get a T-shirt printed with that statement!