Today, it is our 30th Wedding anniversary, and in a couple of days, Geoff and I have been together 35 years!
35 interesting, fun filled, stressy, worrying, happy, mad, brilliant years, 3 children, one son in law and 6 dogs ( not to mention the chickens!) later, here we are today!! It doesn't get much better than this.
Ok you ............... I have been having even more difficulty sleeping recently because I don't know the answer to the following awkward question. ... what is the official line on your chances of a full recovery, chances of you dropping down dead and chances of somewhere in between. I think about it all the time and I know I should know but I don't. BTW I love you x Sent from my iPhone
Firstly Rutti, thank you for your text and I know you wont mind me copying it on my blog. ( note I have removed the endearing term you used!!!) A good question, no doubt others are also wondering about, but don't want to ask.
According to the 'bullying' oncologist I mentioned a few weeks ago, ( and no, I can't recommend him, a cynical bully!), I will 'die soon'. ( I did not hang around to ask him to expand on what he meant by 'soon')According to the oncologist who is 'overseeing' me ( if a 3 minute, 'how are you', before I have the needles inserted into my veins, overseeing), I 'might be ok'. At least one step up from the Bully.
According to the Budwig Centre, I will 'be fine'. Another step up.
According to Rick Simpson, I will be 'healthy again'.
Well that is what I am hanging my hat on. The end of the day, nobody knows. You might have seen a statistic I posted a couple of months ago, regarding the statistics on my type of cancer. 75% survival rate if I only have the tumor removed and then do nothing else. Another 8% added if I have chemo. So on paper, chemo might have killed some cancer cells I might have in my body and after 5 years, the pharma companies would have celebrated success in 'curing my breast cancer'. But of course the unknown factor here is what would happen next. Good cells killed, immune system weakened, the ideal breeding ground for cancer cells to form a sexy tumor somewhere. It would then begin all over again, and I would then be in another form of statistics, and chemo no doubt would be the number 1 option again, which would then probably kill me.
So dear Rutti, ( firstly I love you, I hope you know that) and secondly, I can't answer your question.
Personally whilst initially I did think about dying, death and even began in my head to organise my funeral / leaving party ( yes Rutti you are invited), I have not completed the planning of this, as now, I simply don't think about it. It is not an option. I have too much to do and no time for dying, just yet!
I hope this has in a round about way, answered your question !
Will now have a well deserved glass of champagne!!!
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