Still waiting...

Last night Kyla and Dan were told to be in hospital for 08.00, which they were. 

This morning at 08.00 when they arrived, they were told baby Aiy�la had developed a temperature and they were not sure if the operation was going ahead. They proceeded to do some 'tests'  and Kyla and Dan were asked to leave the room. They were then asked why they were here waiting........ why? Because they were told to..... eventually at 09.00 they wheeled her incubator out of the intensive car unit and heavyhandedly ( if this is a word) proceeded to smash it into the door frame. Twice! Christ! You would have thought that even the most junior nurses would have some kind of antenna, aiming to avoid the concrete pillars, swinging doors, exit signs and door frames. Particulary when the parents are watching. 

I realise that in the overall scheme of things this is not important, but still.

So, I had Herceptin and as the nurse said ' el ley de Murphy' ( Murphy's law), two veins they tried , failed. On the third attempt they managed to get it in. Out of all the days.

I still managed to argue with the oncologist, who is insisting that I have a biopsy. I accepted the referral letter, just to get out of there as quick as possible.

So here we are waiting, in a coffee shop. Drinking tea! 

Something that dawned on me the last few days, which is so obvious but took me by surprise is that as grandparents, nobody wants to talk to you. Logical, but it had not dawned on me until it was spelled out by the doctor: 'Parents only'! I wanted to scream out, ' I am the mother'! Kyla's mother and she needs me!!!!  I suddenly feel transported into another generation, the old one, the grandparents, cast aside, no influence.... sounds dramatic, it' s not. I smile at myself to think , I could just do what I always do: organise and problem solve. Geoff and I are helpless 'bystanders' . Actually we all are.

So the waiting continues.

I am overwhelmed by the kind warm support we have all received from friends and family. Whilst we are not a religious family, we have many friends who are. There are from what I believe literally 100s of people are praying for little baby Aiy�la. So if there is a god, then now is the time............