The end of one year, the start of the next.................

I have been sitting in front of my key board for a while now, now sure where to start. Usually words come quite easy to me, but today, I am finding it a challenge.  Unfortunately there are too many people I know, who are likely to have similar thoughts to me. � To move onto the next year!�

Only a few hours to go and this awful year is over. Amazing how much hope we put onto a �New Year� , a new start , a fresh beginning , for so many people. But, how do we know that the next year is any different? Life , if we are lucky enough to experience it, just goes on, doesn�t it?

The majority of people are so engrossed in their own busy lives, and I wonder how many actually reflect on the �past year� and analyse if they could have done anything to live a better live during that year.
I have never been one for �new years resolutions�. When I was in my twenties and I guess thirties, my focus on a new year, tended to be very superficial. �Lose weight� seems to have dominated my life and from what I recall was my only ever new year�s resolution, that and getting fit. Comical really, as without trying I lost 16 pounds  this year, something I wished for most of my life. The year I came across cancer. I am not using the words, � I am fighting cancer�, as I am not fighting it.

This year, the year Kyla our eldest got engaged, got married, got pregnant. The year, Dan had his reversal operation and had the all clear from cancer. The year, we gained a son in law. We never expected to �love� a son in law, but here it is. We love him and he has become part of our family, like I never expected.

The year, Rhea moved together with Ben. The year she got a great promotion. The year, Jack bought his first property in London. All these wonderful events, we so enjoyed being part of. It is a shame it was overshadowed by my cancer journey.  

But, things happen for a reason. There is a reason why I  ended up with cancer. I don�t know what the reason was, but I do know the effect it had on myself and the rest of my family. It is a journey, as I keep saying. A journey, where not only I but my entire family have adapted to and we are all now �running with it�.  It feels quite calming.  A surreal year. Looking back I feel calm and in control.  I will continue to �do my thing�,  exploring every avenue on  alternative treatment.  My plan is to have a PET scan next August, when I finished Herceptin, providing I don�t die from heart failure first.  This brings me to an interesting observation .

The last few weeks, I have been feeling washed out, tired and without much energy, struggling for breath as soon as I walk more than 100 meters.  So here is the interesting bit, I saw a different oncologist last week when I had Herceptin. She asked me how much I weighed, which is now 70 KG, and noted that I started my treatment when I was 78 KG. Although she did not say anything else, I started to think about this afterwards. Before my first Chemo session I was weighed as part of the �how much do we pump into the veins� exercise. I am now wondering if the current dose is too high. If I am receiving the same amount of Herceptin into my body , that I received when I weighed more, could this be the reason I feel so awful and weak? Is the amount of fluid pumped into me, calculated by my weight? I lost 10% of my overall weight. Should Herceptin be reduced therefore? Why was my weight so important at the beginning?  And if weight plays an important factor when calculating how much they pump into me, why did nobody  notice that I lost some weight? I will ask �my� oncologist when I see him again the 18 January.

The last 10 days, feels like a whirl wind. A warm,fun, tiring, busy whirl wind. The last three days, Geoff has been busy dropping the kids and adoptive kids (Michael and Rebecca) off again. Michael flew back to China, Jack and Rhea back to the UK and Rebecca to Paris. Flights were delayed and others cancelled, the strike in the UK did not make travelling much easier, but everyone has made it here for Christmas and back again. A lovely time was had by all and I am not proud to say, that I gave in to chocolate and champagne and what's more important, but I did not beat myself up about it, and loved every bit of it. 

When I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer, back in May 2016, apart from my world falling apart, I also wanted to keep my family and friends updated. I was overwhelmed with the flowers, chocolates, cards and �getting well wishes� I received, and figured that by writing a blog, everyone who was interested, could catch up and read about my my �journey�.

I have never been a person to �follow protocol�, it is not in my nature and I knew last July , after my one and only Chemo session that my journey would not be that of many other cancer patients. In this blog, I have recorded my �journey� and how and why I made the decisions regarding my treatment. I have learned so much and am still learning every day. My office is filled with new books regarding  cancer, cancer diets, �mind / body / spirit� , Cannabis, �well being� etc.
Having opted out of the traditional �chemo trail�, I am very aware that only I can monitor my progress and only I am responsible to get myself well again.  This is both frightening and exciting.

I am recording any new research or information I come across and at this stage have no idea where this will take me.

I am writing this today the 29 December, after my daughter Rhea told me that it would be good to write a short paragraph. Having had over 12000 page views, I am flattered that people are interested in my �journey� ( I can�t think of a better word) and hope that it provides informative reading.

Anke

Busy............

I am trying to have an open mind. 

I heard about Shiatsu and have been told that it might be helpful if I was to try it, which I did. I saw an Austrian lady, based locally and having no idea what to expect, I �went with it�. She talked to me about �Chakra�s�, the different �energy centres� in the body etc.  There was a lot to take in and looking back , I wish I had taken notes.  Because I didn�t, I read up about Shiatsu afterwards ( I know this is the wrong way round, but hey), and pondered over the �in a practice a practitioner uses touch, comfortable pressure and manipulative techniques�.�

( http://www.shiatsusociety.org/treatments/about-shiatsu). Well I can honestly say, that my �session� hurt like hell. It felt like she was digging her finger with all her weight into different parts of my body and then held up the pressure for much longer than I would have preferred.

As she was �balancing my chakras�, which involved her holding her hands a few inches away from my body. As she was in that position, she kept hunching over as if being punched in the stomach, making deep breathing noises at the time. I have to say that unsettled me somewhat. She looked in pain and for some reason I felt responsible for causing her that �pain�. In fact I found it disturbing and could not relax, if that is was I was supposed to do.  What did not help my experience is that I was freezing in her house. Goose pumps all over including on my kneecaps. How can anyone relax when they are shivering they are so cold? ( many Spanish houses don�t have heating and no carpets, which gives many Spanish houses a damp, cold feel, even though the outside temperature is reasonable � 15 degree)

It was recommended that I return this week then continue every other week for a session.

I think I will try another place in Malaga who also offer Shiatsu and see how that compares to my experience. If this was �normal� then at least I know and can then decide it I want to do it again. If it wasn�t and the next one is a �deeply relaxing experience�, then I know where I will go.

With Christmas around the corner, I have been busy getting organised and can feel that I am tired. I am so looking forward to having all kids ( including our adoptive kids, Rebecca and Michael) come over for Christmas and this year will be a �first one�, my girls and Rebecca are cooking Christmas lunch. That is a treat!

It's all relative...........

I had Herceptin, the 6th session!  The cardiologist�s words �I would do Herceptin this week, this one won�t kill you������. And the oncologist�s words � No need to worry about your low pulse, the lung scan is fine�.

Well the cardiologist was right, it did not kill me, I am still here����..  He wanted me to do a �stress test�, which the oncologist does not agree with, as I should not put my heart under any strain.

I have therefore decided to do my own stress test, just to keep an eye on my apparently low pulse. Interesting it is between 40-45 every morning and then increases to 60 during the day. I will start to record whenever I walk up through the garden to see if exercise of some sort increases it.

It�s a mine field really, or should I say a lottery������..

A long standing friend, who Geoff and I lived with 35 years ago, has come to stay with us for a week. He has Myiloma, which is a type of blood cancer and considered incurable, but very much treatable.  I have the highest respect on how Chris is dealing with his condition. A grueling year of chemo behind him, he is now well enough to travel, which he loves so much.  Talking to Chris makes me feel a wimp. Last autumn he was diagnosed with cancer and has been to hell and back since, which is why it is so great to see him here in Spain. How he manages to continue his travels is a mystery.  Chris, fondly known as �Mr Oprin�, does not do holidays on a beach, no, he goes deep into the amazonian rain forest with a guide, just to mention one of his many trips.
What touched me to the core, was when he said, � I want my girls to remember me when I am gone, and for this reason, I am organising holidays�.

What am I complaining of really?! I will beat this and am fine. Chris does not have this luxury.  

                                               

The million dollar question............

Do I or don't I continue with Herceptin?

I am due to have the next session tomorrow and I have not decided yet.
The blood test came back as fine.
The X-Ray on the lungs is tomorrow morning, before the Herceptin.
The heart scan I had yesterday and this is the worrying bit really.

The oncologist and the cardiologist don't understand why I am so short of breath from doing nothing.
Apparently my pulse is 'dangerously low' ( 40) when 60-100 is normal. But, neither know, why.

The cardiologist wants to do a stress test next week. The words were, ' I am not happy with your low pulse rate and we need to carry out a stress test, to see if you pulse get quicker if / when you  exert yourself a little. If it doesn't then one of the solutions would be to fit a pace maker.

Did I hear this correctly. I had chemo, with the known side effect of heart failure, which I discontinued after the first session. I then started Herceptin, which is meant to last 12 months until August 2017, with the known side effect of heart failure.
I am out of breath, unable to walk up a flight of steps without having to stop half way through, have a dangerously low pulse and the doctors think it is fine to talk about a pace maker??

It must be me, surely it would make more sense to stop Herceptin. My heart was just fine prior to starting this chemo / chemical trip, and now it is clearly not.

It would be my luck, to get rid of cancer and then die of a heart attack. Just classic!

I will decide tomorrow afternoon after my lung x-ray..................


In the meantime, I am cold! I just don't seem to get warm, and Robbie's woolly hat is on my head, literally day and night. I have given up on the wigs, they are not designed to be worn in winter. Any collar of any jacket or scarf pushes my wig over my forehead, just resting above my eyes. Not a sexy, workable look.

I heard that Chemo changes your hair, but I had not realised that this also concerns the colour.
I have never had black hair ( not to mention all the grey) in my life before. Not keen on that one either.
Although I should not complain, it has started to grow at least.

Maybe the colour will change when it gets longer. ( we can but hope!)

'You are the most difficult patient I have ever met'..............

The words of my oncologist and if I am honest, I don�t blame him for saying this.

I was supposed to have Herceptin today, but didn�t. 

Usually when the oncologist asks me how I am , I tend to say �fine�. ( apart from that tiny little thing called �cancer�)

Today, I answered truthfully and listed my �symptoms� ( freezing all the time, with a few sweat outbreaks. Can�t really refer to is as a hot flushes, as this is worse and not very pleasant, out of breath, just from talking, let alone walking, no appetite and generally not feeling great. I was so much better during the summer)

This left me with a prescription for a lung scan, heart scan, blood test and x-ray. The x-ray was the compromise, as the oncologist wanted me to have a CT scan. I explained that I could not see any logic in pumping me full of radioactive stuff in order to carry out the scan to see if I have any cancer cells, when my immune system is on the floor. Surely that is likely to kick if all of again? He did not disagree, smiled , shrugged his shoulders and quite rightly said, that this was the only way to find out. So we settled on a x-ray for now. I am happy to have the radioactive scan next August, when I have finished Herceptin, if I do.

That, I figure will also give me time to blast my body with all alternative treatment I can get my hands on.

A wasted day, of hanging around��������� , but I guess better this, then take the risk, ( words of the oncologist) by having more Herceptin pumped into my veins, without knowing why I am feeling how I am. According to him, he does not think that any of the symptoms are related to Herceptin.

Well, we will see.  A few busy days ahead to get this all organised now. 

So much information...........

My challenge is to learn as much as I can, the real challenge with this is that unless I know that there is something to learn, how do you know about it............ ( not sure if that sentence made sense, but I know what I mean).

One of my longest standing friends from Germany came to visit me last week. Apart from us having a lovely time catching up ( when I was awake! Poor Gerti had to entertain herself with my dogs and chickens until I eventually made it into an upright position around lunchtime each day), I learned something new from her.

In fact, for the first time in 35 year ( I left that long ago) I wish I was German, I mean living in Germany.  She told me that her friend who had Breast Cancer in Germany was sent to a 'Rehab' ( also known as 'Kur' in Germany) for 4 weeks, paid for by the government. This 'Rehab place', designed only for Breast Cancer patients and Prostate Cancer patients,  is the equivalent of a 5 star hotel, with treatments, massages, swimming, reflexology, organic cuisine etc all day, every day for 4 weeks.

I am envious. In fact, I made contact with a KurHotel in Germany, so see if they have spaces. I crave a period of time of no thinking, no analysing,  no work, but just being looked after. Sounds like heaven to me.
Unfortunately I have been told that I should not fly at the moment, due to risk of infection, which means I will have to wait a few months, but I am seriously thinking about treating myself to a stay in this KurHotel.

What I also found out from Gerti and have of course been researching since, is that they also offer Lymph drainage. I have no idea that this exists. I had mentioned to Gerti that since the operation I had a lump ( size of a lemon) under my arm, which appears to be left from the infection I had after the operation. She mentioned that her friend had lymph drainage, and that this was part of the normal treatment.
Great, my oncologist simply shrugged his shoulders when I asked him and told me that the swelling would go down in time. How long though? It has been 6 months now.

Not sure if this is right time to mention this, but how long until my 'now blue nipple' turns normal again?? During the operation they used some blue liquid, which left me with a blue nipple!  Oncologist again, did not seem at all moved by my question and simply said again , 'it will go'. Mmmmmhhhhhh, I am keeping an eye on it!

No I am not obsessed ( or maybe I am), but needless to say, I am now trying to find someone here in the area who has the qualification to carry out Lymph drainage.  Fingers crossed I find someone!

Delighted...........

I have just received a call from Jan. He has had the results back for his son, the cancer has been removed successfully. The most amazing thing is that other children with the same cancer and the same operation in the same hospital, have not had this same great result.
The question is why? I realise that nobody will answer this one, but here is my theory.

Apart from Chemo, for over 40 days, Jan has been giving his son, the oil, the Budwig diet, Oxygen therapy, fever therapy, Muringa leaves, organic smoothies every single day, whilst the other children in the same hospital, watched TV, ate the hospital food  (  not organic) and any chocolates  ( sugar feeds cancer cells) visitors brought in.

It appears that the all round treatment has insured that after the cancer / tumor was cut out, no further cancer cells were identified. I am over the moon!!!

The photo above is of the type of operation Jan's son had. The second photo is Jan's son legs after the operation.

And against the nurses and doctors belief, who told Jan, that his son would  be in a wheel chair for the rest of his life, his movement is coming back and he can even stand ( with the help of his parents).

Confused.com....

So, this is the report from the scan for my liver and pancreas - all clear, all normal. 

And above is the analysis from the Budwig Centre , which clearly states, 'benign tumor on liver and pancreas........

Now what? I think I will open a bottle of wine and Geoff and I will watch the sunset!

Today is the day.............

I am due to have the liver scan later, to see if the Budwig centre were correct in their analysis in that I have a tumor on my liver and pancreas............ we will see.

Having read up on 'Heart failure', which is the side effect to Herceptin, I am moving more away from it.
I had no idea what 'Heart failure' meant before reading up on it, but at least I now know that the breathlessness I am experiencing, ( even just talking) and my lack of appetite are all normal , when heart failure occurs. Looks like I am close to this then. I am not happy at all. Another 'no win' situation.

Let's see what this afternoon brings........................

Sick people are profitable people............

I knew that 'traditional' medicine and the entire industry around it, is one of the most profitable businesses there is. I only need to look at the doctors bills so far.
My chemo (which I only had one session of) was estimated at �53000, the radiology, ( which I also opted out) was �15000 and every Herceptin session I have �3000, not to mention the countless blood tests and heart scans and meetings (which last no longer than 5 minutes)  with the Oncologist.
The pharmaceutical companies must love sick people.

But, it is not only the pharmaceutical industry that cashes in on sick people. When I went to the Budwig Centre, and started on the 'Budwig diet', I purchased the 'Lindseed / flaxseed oil' from the centre. I paid �38 for one litre of Lindseed oil. Yesteday, I found that Aldi, sell Organic Lindseel oil for �7.50 per 500ml, so �15 for on litre. The same oil, half the price.

Sick people are vulnerable and want to believe what professional tell them. I did.

The last 10 days I have felt awful, no other words really. Tired, tearful, exhausted, feeling weak, out of breath, unable to sleep, swollen fingers, fast and pounding heartbeat, runny nose,  struggling to concentrate, constantly feeling cold, ( I am wearing a wholly hat ( courtesy of  Robbie) most of the day and night even in bed, headaches and most unusually for me, I have been losing weight every day.
For those of you reading this, who know me, this is unheard of. I am the person who puts on weight, just by walking past a water tap and now I am the same weight I was when I moved to the UK in 1982.
Don't get me wrong, I was initially delighted to lose the 'floppy stomach', but as time went on, I kept thinking that this can't be normal. I have lost a stone since the summer. My parents, who have told me most of my life I should watch my weight, and now asking me to eat more. Strange old life.

But, as I am starting to get concerned about my general condition, I have re read and read more about the side effects of Herceptin and there is my answer. This is all down to the 'possible side effects' .
Heart-failure being the ultimate side effect!

This has left me re-analysing if I should stop Herceptin. I am 90% on the 'no more Herceptin' side, but 10% tell me that I should do it, as my cancer was HER+ and HER2 positive, which means my breast cancer is considered 'aggressive' because it grows and spreads quickly.
If only I knew what the 'right path' is.................

(http://www.herceptin.com/breast/herceptin)

Stress?!.....

So I am not meant to be stressed...........that is clearly easier said than done.

Last Wednesday I have my 5th Herceptin session. According to the Oncologist, I need to take it 'very easy' ( what exactly does that mean?), apart from my heart expanding with the Herceptin ( how can I forget that the possible side effect of this stuff is heart failure!!), he is now waiting to see if my legs swell up, which apparently is normal. Can't wait!
I am starting to struggle walking up a flight of steps, which I am not happy about.

The last week I have had to work and by the time I get to the office, climb up to the first floor, I feel bushed. ( out of breath and dizzy).
I am seriously considering stopping Herceptin. Dead and cancer free is not an option as far as I am concerned. Many would argue that if I stop Herceptin, I am likely to die, a kind of a 'no-win' situation. I think the end of the day nobody knows and I need to decide what I am most comfortable with.

To kill these little cancer cells, that might or might not be floating around in my body, I have also increased my Tumeric intake and like the oil, I now put the powder into an empty capsule ( tablet), that way I can digest a larger amount without it tasting to awful.
The oil I am stepping up, and increasing the dosage, with the result that I sleep more, need at least an hour to wake up ( when I eventually do), the downside is that I then rush around for the afternoon with meetings, usually arriving late in the office.
The Quark and Lindseed oil, which I would gladly give to any client asking for compensation because the sun is not shining!!!, also tastes awful, but will all the seeds and fruit I add in, it becomes bearable.
The Bi-carbonate soda, I take a couple of times a week, as I tend to run out of time during the day, the lindseed oil 'breakfast' fills me up until bed time, and I run out of time to eat main meals, salads etc. In fact nothing really tastes the same. Where in the past I loved food and drink, now I eat because my stomach is empty, not because I want to enjoy a nice meal. I wonder if my taste buds will return.

The other challenge, now that it is getting cooler. I am freezing most of the time. The thought of walking around without my wig or woolly hat ( courtesy of Robbie!), make me shiver. How do bald men cope with the winter?? I am not coping...........

10020 ........... who are you all?

10020 page views! Now I am new to writing a blog and Rhea my daughter showed  me the other day, that it is possible to track if anyone is reading my blog, which I have just done.

This feels strange. I started this blog in July in order to try and keep in touch with friends and family who had been texting, whats� aping, ( if that is how you spell it) and emailing me. The idea was to let everyone know at the same time what I was up to, rather than individually replying.

But,������.I don�t know 10000 people, I don�t think I could name 100 people who I thought read my blog����.so unless the people that I do know reading this, keep reading the same page over and over again, there must a quite a few people I have never met you are also reading it.

How naive am I, it�s on the web, so I guess anyone who comes across it, has the option to read it���.. well, I am baffled, not sure how I feel,�, I mean I am not that interesting.


I find my days are too short. By the time I wake up and get myself in an upright position it is usually lunch time. The oil really knocks me out, which I guess is good. It is frustrating though, as there is so much more reading I want to do and I constantly feel I don�t have enough time. I came across Dr. Peter Glidden.  I can�t help but feel happy when I read articles which support my view.

He says that people who refuse chemotherapy treatment live on average around 12 years longer than people who accept the chemotherapy treatment, most patients undergoing chemotherapy die in time frame of 3 years since they are diagnosed with cancer and some much faster than that (within few weeks since being diagnosed.) He also claims that patients with breast cancer who reject treatment live four times longer than those who undergo chemotherapy.
http://www.blueskyin.com/people-die-from-chemotherapy-not-cancer-said-doctor-peter-glidden/

So, if Chemo does not work, what else does? From what I have learned over the recent months, there are so many natural products, that are believed to kill cancer and prevent cancer. I have thrown myself into the alternatives and am 'doing them all!'. Well, that is what it feels like.

https://epigeneticlabs.com/magi-complex/
I have been using Turmeric the last few weeks on a frequent basis, ( it tends to give everything a 'curry sort of taste'), and am now looking for Myrrh and Frankincese. Very interesting reading indeed.

I am becoming a fan of 'Amazon', who tend to sell just about everything!!

Life ........ Death, Death ........Life

I am so lucky! , We are so lucky!
Today, it is our 30th Wedding anniversary, and in a couple of days, Geoff and I have been together 35 years!
35 interesting, fun filled, stressy, worrying, happy, mad, brilliant years, 3 children, one son in law and 6 dogs ( not to mention the chickens!) later, here we are today!! It doesn't get much better than this.

Ok you ............... I have been having even more difficulty sleeping recently because I don't know the answer to the following awkward question. ... what is the official line on your chances of a full recovery,  chances of you dropping down dead and chances of somewhere in between. I think about it all the time and I know I should know but I don't.  BTW I love you x Sent from my iPhone

Firstly Rutti, thank you for your text and I know you wont mind me copying it on my blog. ( note I have removed the endearing term you used!!!) A good question, no doubt others are also wondering about, but don't want to ask.

According to the 'bullying' oncologist I mentioned a few weeks ago, ( and no, I can't recommend him, a cynical bully!), I will 'die soon'. ( I did not hang around to ask him to expand on what he meant by 'soon')
According to the oncologist who is 'overseeing' me ( if a 3 minute, 'how are you', before I have the needles inserted into my veins, overseeing), I 'might be ok'. At least one step up from the Bully.
According to the Budwig Centre, I will 'be fine'. Another step up.
According to Rick Simpson, I will be 'healthy again'.

Well that is what I am hanging my hat on.  The end of the day, nobody knows. You might have seen a statistic I posted a couple of months ago, regarding the statistics on my type of cancer. 75% survival rate if I only have the tumor removed and then do nothing else. Another 8% added if I have chemo. So on paper, chemo might have killed some cancer cells I might have in my body and after 5 years, the pharma companies would have celebrated success in 'curing my breast cancer'. But of course the unknown factor here is what would happen next. Good cells killed, immune system weakened, the ideal breeding ground for cancer cells to form a sexy tumor somewhere.  It would then begin all over again, and I would then be in another form of statistics, and chemo no doubt would be the number 1 option again, which would then probably kill me.

So dear Rutti, ( firstly I love you, I hope you know that) and secondly, I can't answer your question.

Personally whilst initially I did think about dying, death and even began in my head to organise my funeral / leaving party ( yes Rutti you are invited), I have not completed the planning of this, as now, I simply don't think about it. It is not an option. I have too much to do and no time for dying, just yet!

I hope this has in a round about way, answered your question !

Will now have a well deserved glass of champagne!!! 

FDA...........judge and jury?!

If anyone reading my blog over the coming month, has not picked up that I am appalled by the FDA  ( UK equivalent, 'The Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency - MHRA) and their attitude and approach to anybody offering alternative therapy with regards to cancer treatment, then I am happy to make that point again.

I and many other cancer patients, do not have the freedom to chose whatever treatment we are happy with. Some brave people / doctors  around the world, who are trying to offer alternative treatment, are targeted by governments all over the world, are put on trial, are fined and their patients medical records are removed by the authorities.

It is a bullying money making industry, with very little care for the patients. An industry that makes money unscrupulously without caring about the fate of the patients.

Below two, ( of hundreds of) videos on UTube supporting what I am saying. Dr. Burzynski, a brave man who is trying to continue offering cancer treatment and care, despite the government taking him to court...........


https://youtu.be/CwLipIKDwCA

https://youtu.be/Yf38-g2jYnY

( Thank you Dan for finding this info, which I can't take credit for)

Patience.......

has never been on of my strong points.

The Cellumed High Clinic told me that they would not be able to treat me ( Nonothermia) now. I need to wait at least 6 months from the date of the operation. This take me to January. I guess something to look forward to. ( or not! ) On a positive note, that give me more time to research.
'Google' is my middle name!!!

In addition to me continuing to search for new alternative therapies, I am also reading up a lot on what else toxifies  ( not sure if this is English, I know what I mean) your body.
Never before have I spent a second reading the ingredients in my tooth paste, or face cream, body cream, perfume etc.  Well I have started to and am horrified to see what is added into all these products.
I had heard that deodorants with Aluminium ( most of them), can cause cancer and have had spells in the past, where I used these 'sticks'. Salt sticks, which you need to hold under running water and then use under your arms. Whilst they do work, in the winter I stopped using them, as I did not like the cold water under my armpit first thing in the morning. Maybe that was my mistake:


Aluminium (aluminum) salts frequently used in many industrial compounds like antiperspirants, skin care products, vaccines, ant-acids and food additives could well be carcinogenic and implicated in breast cancer, according to Swiss scientists presenting their research in the International Journal of Cancer (Sept 2016).
Stefano J. Mandriota and Andr�-Pascal Sappino from the Laboratoire de
Canc�rogen�se Environnementale were concerned that there had never really been any hard evidence that aluminium compounds caused cancer. So, using aluminium chloride, they injected mice at levels equivalent to those already found in women with breast cancer. They also used three levels of immune-impaired mice.
In the two groups of mice that had the worst immune systems there was clear evidence of tumour growth and metastases. They then repeated the experiments in vitro and found tumour growth and metastases in breast tissue for all three levels of immunity.
Their conclusions? For the first time we have proven that the level of aluminium found it breast tissue that is cancerous can be causal

http://www.canceractive.com/cancer-active-page-link.aspx?n=3850&Title=Study%20shows%20aluminium%20in%20everyday%20products%20can%20cause%20Breast%20cancer

Thank you Nigel and Linda for the hat! It is perfect!!!!

More options

True to Spanish form, it took some days for me to receive a reply from the Cellumed High Clinic in Estepona.

www.cellumedclinic.com 

A clinic dealing with alternative treatment for cancer patients. I have in the past read a lot about Hyperthermia and have been looking for a clinic in Spain who offer this therapy. Huffeland in German were offering it, which is how I first learned about it.
According to research and publication on the success rate, this treatment seems to be very positive, highly effective, with no side effects or long term effects, like Chemo. 
https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/types/surgery/hyperthermia-fact-sheet

What is hyperthermia?Hyperthermia (also called thermal therapy or thermotherapy) is a type of cancer treatment in which body tissue is exposed to high temperatures (up to 113�F). Research has shown that high temperatures can damage and kill cancer cells, usually with minimal injury to normal tissues (1). By killing cancer cells and damaging proteins and structures within cells (2), hyperthermia may shrink tumors.

The Cellumed High Clinic offer 'Nanothermia', which is very similar and having watched a UTUBE video, : 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdRdwTtPn2M  - I am going to make an appointment to meet with the doctor. Logically it makes sense and I can see why this therapy should / could work. As I have nothing to lose ( other than money! No idea what this will cost), I am keen to give it a go. Not that I am looking forward to being heated up like a fried hamburger, but, if it kills cancer cells ( which according to the other clinic, Budwig Centre, I might have in my liver and pancreas, which incidentally I simply refuse to believe), then let's switch this machine on and fry these suckers dead!

On another note, I have found an ingenious way ( at least I think so) to taking the vile tasting CB oil.
Take a paracetamol in your hand (solvable capsule), gently pull the tablet apart and let the medical content wash down the sink, then fill it ( not totally, too much, don't want to be dizzy and nauseous, and then take with glass of water! Bingo, no vile taste, no after taste and the same result.
  

4th Herceptin day!

I could not sleep last night and spent the night, 'solving problems�, 'thinking', 'making mental lists' of what I need to do, yet, this morning, I don't remember much of the 'solutions'.

I do remember one thought, (frightening whats going on in my head). I am writing this whilst sitting in the waiting room, surrounded by people who are having chemo. Strange seeing all these 'sick' people. There is s lady in reception just sobbing her heart out. I wonder what blow has just been delivered to her. ( no doubt in a 'friendly, direct, un-empathetic' bedside manner , I have  previously had the pleasure of experiencing). My heart goes out to the poor woman. Her world has clearly just collapsed. I look at each one here waiting in waiting room and wonder what their story is...... I surprise myself as I notice that I don�t see myself as �one of them�.  Maybe I am still after all these months in denial, but as far as I am concerned I am not ill, I no longer have cancer, I am here to suffer through 12 months� worth of Herceptin, that is all.

Back to my 'rather superficial , actually unimportant  ' thoughts.  Isnt it strange how when men lose their hair with age ( well it seems to happen more to men, dont you think? ) , they lose it on their head. Not their legs, chest, ears, neck and other areas. Why? Is the hair on our heads do much weaker or is there a medical scientific reason for this.  When my hair started to fall out, my head ( hair on my head) was the last to fall out. Now, ( clearly we have some kind of positive development) if is growing back everywhere I dont want it and were I want it ( my huge bald head) , it seems to be the slowest. I know!!!, who cares? I just wondered.... this is what happens when I can�t sleep.

That shows how effective the CB oil is, even if taken only to sleep. I did not take any last night as I had to be up early for blood test and heart scan before the next Herceptin session now.

The oncologist is pushing me to have Herceptin for one year, and maybe I was dreaming, in my  mind I had worked on 12 session on Herceptin every 3 weeks, would have meant 36 weeks of this, but according to the oncologist yesterday, he is talking about 17 sessions. I am not happy. When I asked again about exercise, he was clear in that the only exercise I should be doing is. �walking�. Give me a break!!! Walking!!!  I have had 4 sessions now, which leaves another 13 sessions, 39 weeks! My muscles will shrivel up like prunes, I end up looking like �Madge� from �Benidorm.  

According to the oncologist, who spend some time studying my heart scan I have earlier today, my heart has slightly expanded, which is to be expected as it is one of the side effects of Herceptin. �Nothing to worry about� though at this stage. Well that�s all right then!

When I asked him to refer me for a PET scan following the diagnoses of the Budwig Centre, he refused and explained, that with the side effects of Herceptin and the radio active liquid I would have to swallow, the risk of heart failure is too great. The earliest I could have the PET scan would be 6 weeks after my final Herceptin session.
Am I the only one who can�t get her head around the fact, that �medication� can cause death!?
 

 Robbie, I missed your singing today!!!

Not sure I believe I everything I come across..........

I have been thinking...............

One of the things I have taken on board since I was diagnosed with cancer, is to 'listen to my body'.
Klaus, who I met in Mallorca , the spiritual healer, felt strongly about people listening to their gut. He believes that modern life and the influence via people, the media etc, conditions people to behave in a ways they believe they need to in order to fit in.............. ( It is much deeper than that, but for the purpose of what I am about to say, it summarises it nicely)

If I therefore listen to my gut, then I am not sure I will go back to the Budwig Centre. Why?

So far I have spent a small fortune on hundreds of homeopathic tablets to be taken prior to getting up the morning, whilst getting up, once up, prior to breakfast, during breakfast, past breakfast and so on..........
Too much time is spent every day, checking my long list of 'which tablet to I take next'.
Following the Vega test, where I was told that they detected 'tumor activity' in my pancreas and liver, they also confirmed that I was allergic to red wine, mild, coffee and prawns. News to me. I have never had any side effects from any food I have ever eaten. ( wish I was allergic, then at least I would lose some weight!)

For this reason, I have decided to have a scan next week, to check my liver and pancreas, If anything shows up on the scan, then I will have a PET scan. That would then confirm what is going on inside me.
I prefer not to have a PET scan, ( hence a normal scan first), due to the radiation risk. ( it involves injecting or swallowing a radioactive 'tracer' - brilliant, as if I am not toxic enough)
Not sure how much Chemo poison is still swishing around my body, therefore I prefer not to add any other toxins to the mix.

I did not feel that the clinic really deal with people as individuals. Jan also brought his son to the clinic and from what I hear, he is taking the same tablets as I have been prescribed. I struggle in my head to understand how this would be effective for both of us. Jan's son is 13 years old and has cancer in the bone, with the tumor still in his leg until the operation in 10 days time, I am ancient and have breast cancer, the tumor apparently removed, my lymph nodes clean. So why are we taking the same tablets?

I should have asked them, but didn't............. and, as I mentioned previously, if they prognosis is correct and I have tumor activity in two other parts in my body, then no doubt I will think that they are simply brilliant in the clinic. I should know more next week.

http://www.radiology-info.org/nuclear-medicine-positron-emission-tomography/pros-consside-effects.html

Despite the number of advantages that PET imaging contains, it also has a number of disadvantages that include:

• PET scan risks caused by the radioactive component used during this procedure. Although the radioactive compounds used in PET imaging are short-lived and the equivalent of 2 x-rays, the radioactive substance may not be suitable for patients who are pregnant, suspect that they are pregnant, or are breast feeding.
• The radioactive components used in PET imaging will not persist for long periods in a patient�s body, however, the radioactive exposure in PET imaging means that there is only a limited amount of times a patient can undergo this procedure.
• A relatively new medical procedure, PET imaging is expensive with an average cost ranging between $900 and $1400.
• As PET scans require cyclotrons, an expensive machine that creates the radioisotopes that are used in the radioactive tracers required for PET imaging, PET scans are not offered in the majority of medical centers in the world. Consequently, it is a difficult treatment to receive.

Minor melt down............

Last week Geoff and I were invited to a new office opening, of one of our collaborating partners, in Malaga. 

Nothing wrong with that�.. potentially an interesting evening��.. well,����  

Surrounded by many smart looking people, I felt totally out of it. Maybe I am not ready to throw myself �back in�. I honestly was doubting it that evening. I can safely say, I felt like the big elephant in the room. I felt twice the size, I felt everyone was staring at me (which I am sure they didn�t, but that is how I felt), I was having hot flushes, only I did not have the confidence to whip the wig of my head. I need to add that the wig makes me sweat, like a ����� very sweaty person!!! 

It is fascinating, ( at least I think so), how being bald has affected me. Ridiculous I know, but hey. Let's see how long this will last for.

I started work again this week, as Kyla and Dan are on honey moon and have to say, apart from being tired, it is great to get involved again. All appointments have to be scheduled in from 13.00pm onwards though, as the Cannabis oil, knocks me out for 15 hours easily. There is no way, I could get up any earlier and function. 

I did grab Geoff's 'magic machine', switched it onto 'level 1' and shaved my head a week ago.

On closer inspection, what was growing on my head could not be described as 'hair', but more as 'soft, flopping over, wispy, white strands of something'. I figured I would do, what I did to my kids when they were very young. Shave the stuff off and hope something more sturdier will replace it. 

I was told recently that I look like Harry Hill. Whilst I don't wear large collars on my shirts the way he does, I can see a similarity. For now! ( if you look real closely, you might be able to spot the 'hair' coming through. I am not impressed with the 'salt and pepper' look though!

Menus ..................

Debbie sent me a great recipe which includes Tumeric and ginger. Thank you Debbie!! I will try it out on Geoff later.

Yesterday I touched on Tumeric and it's healing power, as well as 'Linseed oil', the Budwig diet.

I now add Bee Pollen. http://www.envirobee.com/beepollen.htm. I mix it in with the Linseed oil and Quark, but I am sure you can use it in yogurts easily.
I did mention to Geoff, that maybe apart from my chickens, we should look at keeping bees.............

Amazing when you look at the benefits:

One of Nature's Most Perfect Foods

The amazing bee has provided us with a beneficial natural food supplement. Long ago the Greeks and Romans called natural bee pollen "the life-giving dust" or the secret "ambrosia" eaten to acquire eternal youth. Pollen was entombed with pharaohs, it was used by the American Indians, and for centuries by tribes in China. In our modern times, scientists, gerontologists and nutritionists have rediscovered these bee-prepared foods and confirmed that they are able to promote benefits in the form of healing and rejuvenation. Some nutritionists state that you could live adequately on bee pollen alone. Science shows that bee pollen, that wondrous yet mysterious nectar, has natural rejuvenating powers, aids beauty, boosts energy, extends life span, fights allergies (and possibly even cancer) and relieves digestive disorders. Bee pollen bursts with easily-assimilated protein and lecithin, which nourish the brain and nervous system.

Food fit for the Queen!

Beehive foods are superior food sources. Based on its research, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has stated that bee pollen is the most nutritious food we can eat. It contains every nutrient required to sustain and support life in a pure, raw and unaltered form. Bee products can provide support for almost any ailment or desired health enhancement. One of the real appealing characters of the hive, besides the bees themselves, is bee pollen. This miracle is considered to contain every chemical substance needed to maintain life, nourish, rejuvenate and heal, and nobody proves it better than the queen bee. How a single bee can reign totally supreme in a community of thousands? Being the sole female, responsible for laying 2,000 eggs daily and living forty times longer than the worker bees, the queen bee is by far the most amazing testament to bee pollen. No wonder it is considered a complete food, a great supplement to build the immune system and provide energy for the entire body!

Dr. S.Seradj, D.O.M., C.A.

Digestion and Circulation

Bee pollen is known to be an accelerator of human growth. It regulates the action of the intestinal functions, especially in cases of chronic constipation or diarrhea, which have been resistant to antibiotic treatment. Pollen self-digests and aids the digestion of other foods. A natural occurrence with bee pollen is weight control. Taken into your digestive system, there is a speedy combustion, which makes fats burn faster and increases the rate of burned calories.

Detoxification and Immunity

Bee pollen is used as an immune system builder, has the ability to correct body chemistry and eliminate unhealthy conditions. European physicians note that people with an alcohol problem, when treated with pollen, show great reduction in alcohol cravings. Young people who want to get off heavy drugs go through minimal or no withdrawal when treated with bee pollen. It also has the ability to throw off poisons and toxic materials from the body.

Tests Show Improvements

In France and Poland some doctors have added pollen to children's and adult's diets and observed that, after a few days, all the people felt better and their blood analysis showed an improvement, especially anemic children. Pollen has been used for curing some ailments of our nervous system. After a week, people who take it become less nervous, more optimistic, are more eager to work, and depression disappears. It has also been known to help relieve diabetic symptoms. Doctors have obtained good results. In one test, 32g of pollen daily taken for 2 weeks lowered the amount of sugar in 1 liter of urine by 41.8 g. Dr. Chauvia and Dr. Lenormand say that pollen also contains an antibiotic similar to penicillin and is able to inhibit the development of some microorganisms such as Salmonella.

Help in Middle Age

Doctors have made another discovery, but they are not able to explain it entirely. Men who start eating 15g (1 tbsp.) of pollen daily when they are around 40-45 years old do not have any problem with their prostate gland. Current prostate problems can often be eliminated using pollen (including patients scheduled for surgery). Pollen for potency: It helps with the ability to perform the sexual act and the procreative capacity in cases of barenness and impotency. It is good for men over 40 and for menopausal women.

Help for Seniors

Pollen is very effective with seniors who do not have the appetite to maintain a healthy diet. All minerals in bee pollen are present in a highly digestible and organic form necessary for the digestion of many foods, functioning of glands, organs and nerves, and the balancing of blood, lymph, and aqueous and general metabolism system. Pollen also contains active antibiotic substances, which destroy bacteria on contact. Bee pollen is useful in cases of stress and nervous endocrine system disorders due to its high content of natural B Vitamins. Bee pollen increases energy and mental alertness and is believed to slow down the aging process.

Fighting Disease

By increasing the body's healing power, the body can help build resistance to disease. It has been successfully used with allergies, asthma, chronic rheumatism, colitis, arteriosclerosis, insomnia, depression, failing memory, hay fever, to normalize intestinal activity, to lower cholesterol levels and stimulate appetite, lower high blood pressure, offset the effects of drugs and pollutants, anaemic conditions and attention deficit. It is especially useful in times of pregnancy, lactation and intensive physical or mental work. It maintains the high levels of energy required to keep up with hectic schedules, deadlines or long hours. Pollen brings back vitality without the dangers of artificial stimulants like caffeine, ephedra or quarana and can be taken safely at any time. It is a natural product, admirably tolerated, and compatible with other therapies. Bee pollen is a powerful food supplement for children, growing teens, and adults of all ages. Bee pollen is the only natural food that contains almost all of the 22 elements of which the human body is composed. Today, more than ten thousand tons of bee pollen is consumed as food or medicine all over the world every year! Everyone can benefit from taking Bee pollen!

How to take Bee Pollen

Adults: Start with 1 tsp. in the morning (1/2 hour before breakfast) followed with some water, juice or milk. Increase your intake every day by a few grains until reaching 2 tsp. a day (10 ml). For normal daily intakeYou may take up to 1 tbsp. (15 ml) daily.
Children: Start from 3 grains, increasing by 2 grains every few days until reaching 1/2 tsp. a day. You may mix pollen with raw honey and eat it, or dilute it in a liquid at room temperature.
Special notes: In cases of special need, please contact Ewa Spenst, representative of Environ Bee at the address below. If you are severely allergic to bee stings, follow the amount indicated for children or contact your physician for his/her opinion.

Not enough time to eat it all...............

The more I read and talk to people, the more I realise that there is not one cure for cancer. There are hundreds�������..

To break it down,  there are some fundamental ways of curing cancer and of course avoiding it.

I see cancer like a red traffic light ( although I have been known to jump lights������ there was no traffic at the time��..), the red light signifies is the body saying �Stop�,  � Stop the abuse on the body�, �Stop ignoring the warning signs�, �Stop the poisoning of the body�. It is a  physical, psychological,  emotional, mental ( dare I say spiritual) �Stop sign�.

To cure cancer, ( I am referring to alternative treatment and am not referring to the �Chemo train�), the body needs to rebalanced, on all levels, physical, psychological, emotional, mental and spiritual.  ( I would add here, that anyone who knows me just a little bit, is likely to either have just fallen of his / her chair laughing or they might think that I am officially losing the plot!!)  Me talking about the Spirit!

The �easy win� is my diet, I am back on, after 10days of �unhealthy� and fun eating and drinking. Hard initially, but fine now. One of the main objectives is to detox the body. In the past, I had thought, not drinking wine for a couple of days, was a great detox for my body���� clearly that was wrong.  The �Toxins� are the enemy.

I was not aware that even long term stress and negative emotional trauma can produce toxins in our body.

I had been reading about the amazing health benefits of TUMERIC, amongst which research suggests that apart from fighting inflammation, help in controlling blood sugar levels  and many other benefits, it also helps in fighting existing cancer cells.

Narelle, a lovely lady, who is my kind of woman, gave me a large jar of Turmerix yesterday, which was so kind and I really appreciate it. So for now, I will have to pretend that I am eating a curry every night. It definitely does not work well with muesli, believe me! Great with turkey or fish and chicken of course. I stopped eating chicken, after seeing the most horrendous �undercover� video on what happens in some of the chicken farms in Spain.  Particularly when I look at my chicks, ( I am turning into the mad woman on a mountain clearly), who I believe to be bright intelligent birds. But, anyone who eats chicken, can add Tumeric easily, chicken curry of sorts!

Furthermore, I now have 2% Quark with Linseed oil. Trust me, a great mixture to give to anyone you don�t like. It is only acceptable if you add, nuts, honey, fruit, then it becomes quite acceptable. The Linseed oil is based on Dr. Johanna Budwig� reaseach.

Why Turmeric is the "Perfect Painkiller" and Fights Inflammation Turmeric has been proven to reduce or eliminate pain better than leading prescription medications. 1 A 2004 study published in the journal Oncogene 2 found that components of turmeric were effective alternatives to the drugs aspirin, ibuprofen, sulindac, phenylbutazone, naproxen and diclofenac, to name a few. The reason is because turmeric doesn�t just fight pain and inflammation, it does so much more. How can one little root do so much? Most researchers agree that the turmeric�s profound healing abilities can be traced to its powerful anti-inflammatory action. Full-spectrum turmeric (as opposed to an isolated curcumin extract) is especially effective because it operates by both mechanisms of anti-inflammatory action. Most inflammatory foods, working in one of the following ways... 1. They neutralize inflammation causing free radicals in the body with a flood of antioxidants or 2. They stop the body from producing the chemicals that initiate inflammation in the first place (this is how aspirin and OTC pain meds work) What is unique about turmeric is that it combats inflammation through both of these mechanisms.... simultaneously! Its multi-pronged approach allows it to work wonders for aches, pains, and arthritis (by stopping inflammation at the source), while also strongly supporting the immune system with antioxidants. And because nearly all diseases and ailments can be traced back to inflammation and oxidative stress�it seem like there�s almost nothing that turmeric can�t heal. But not all forms of turmeric are created equal� Most of the turmeric supplements you see in stores come in the form of encapsulated powders. The truth is with turmeric powder you may be getting very little actual benefit. Turmeric powder has a fairly low bioavailability (meaning that a good portion of it isn�t properly absorbed by your body), it often isn�t very fresh, and it�s sometimes made with harsh processes that can destroy or degrade turmeric�s healthful components. Because turmeric is hard to absorb, it must be formulated in a certain way allowing the body to absorb and utilize its entire spectrum of nutrients. References:1. Analgesic Efficacy and Safety of Curcuminoids in Clinical Practice: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials: Pain Med. 2015 Dec 14. Epub 2015 Dec 14. PMID: 268142592. Green Med Info: http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/science-confirms-turmeric-effective-14-drugs 3. Zingiberaceae extracts for pain: a systematic review and meta-analysis: Nutr J. 2015 ;14:50. Epub 2015 May 14. PMID: 25972154