Can't think...........feeling bullied

I saw the second Oncologist tonight, mainly to get a second opinion. 

During this 10 minute �consultation�, which cost �100, I was told by a smiling friendly man, that I would die if I did not have Chemo. According to him my cancer is the most aggressive cancer and chances are it has already traveled. This was news to me!

When I asked him what he thought the survival rate would be if I did or didn�t have Chemo, he told me that if I did not have Chemo I would die. As simply as that.

I then showed him the screen shot I had from the NHS website, (which yesterdays �old� Oncologist had used), he told me that the NHS website was wrong or that the wrong information had been entered. That by doing Chemo, my chances would improve by 20%.

He smiled the entire time he spoke to me, which was unnerving, as we were discussing (for the first time since I was diagnosed with cancer) my life versus my death.


I asked him to please show me where he would obtain information on 'my survival' rate, he told me that his computer did not work. Really? But he was able to confirm verbally to me that I needed at least 8 Chemo sessions and not the 6 prescribed by the other Oncologist. This doctor, Dr Leopoldo Burgos, based in Malaga, is either a genius or ...........

When I asked him if he could help me in having Herceptin without the Chemo, he made it very clear, leaving me with no doubt, that this was against �Protocol� and no one and nowhere in Spain would agree to that, including him.

I left upset, and unable to think clearly.  I really believe anyone, not as determined as me would have crumbled, as I was close to it.

Talking it through with Geoff tonight, I started to get angry, this doctor behaved in the most insensitive way and I felt bullied by him. I don�t like feeling bullied, in fact, nobody has ever tried to bully me. Yet I was in tears as I had left his practice.

Unfortunately, the �old� Oncologist had not left his medical recommendation (to authorise Herceptin) as he had promised the day before. I have driven all the way to the hospital to pick it up, for nothing. The girls in reception knew nothing, nor did they seem to care.

I am going to call the hospital again tomorrow, but if I don�t get the confirmation that they will give me Herceptin (against �Protocol�), then the decision has just been made and I am off to Germany ( where I still have two options). Not my preferred choice, but clearly I am not getting what I want here in Spain and clearly nobody cares. Unless you give in and follow doctor�s orders blindly, they don�t want to know.

I might retract that statement tomorrow, if I receive the answer I am hoping for, but I am starting to doubt that.