Heceptin day!

Entered the hospital at 10.15am and left at 15.30pm

Question form me: How is my latest blood test?

Answer: Fine (would you like to expand a little, ���.guess not)
Q:    How about the PH reading and the sub points which are all off the scale including my oxygen levels in the blood (they are after all, all off the scale of normality)

A:    They are normal
Q:     �but they can�t be. Where then norm is 60-80 my reading comes out at 17. (Even though I have not managed to find out the meaning of each one, I can see when something is off scale)

A:     That is not important the important reading is the PH
Q:     How do I know and find out what the other sub categories mean ( If they are not important, why are they on the blood test??)
A:      You can have another blood test, but it really really hurts, it goes directly into your artery��. ( It worked, he frightened me)

Question from me: Why was I not offered a MRT or PET Scan
A:   Your cancer is not severe enough   (that�s a new one, having been told a number of times now, that I will die if I don�t have chemo)
Q:   Why then was I prescribed 8 sessions of chemo?
A:   Because your cancer is severe. (I am starting to get confused at this stage, confused being the polite word. So my cancer is �severe� when it suits them and �not severe� when it suits them better?)

Q:   Am I correct in understanding that a PET Scan can / does detect abnormal cells?
A:    Yes ( Hallelujah, I just want to know if any cancer cells have spread to me toe nails. I genuinely don�t understand why I would be prescribed 8 session of chemo, to try and kill possible cancer cells that might have �escaped�, when I could have a PET scan to find out if they actually have?!)
Q:   Can you prescribe me a PET scan please?
A:    Fine, but I will prescribe a MRT scan first (I guess I accept that for now, and push for the PET scan later)
Question: How long are you recommending I have Herceptin for?

Answer: One year!
Q:     What is the difference between having it for six months, versus one year?
A:      I don�t know. (Then why be so confident in stating one year?!)

Q:      Do you have any statistics, of peoples survival rate, taking Herceptin for six months versus one year?

A:      No (Same thought, how can he be so confident in starting one year!?)
Q:      Then how to you know that one year is needed and is better?
A:       It�s Protocol (This is quickly becoming my most hated word!)

Question: What are the side effects of Herceptin
Answer: Heart failure
Q:       Sorry to ask, as in �die of heart failure�? ( Would I have been told that if I had not asked!)
A:       Yes
Q:       So how do I know I am having heart failure and what do I do?

A:        You get breath less, your legs swell up and if that happens you need to get to hospital immediately
Q:        Breathless, ( I am thinking about my bike and the idea of getting fit), can I cycle?
A:         No (Great, so not only will I be the, fake hair, fake eye brows, fake eyelashes sad mother of the bride, I can add, �fat� to this description now. The photographer better stay away from me!)
Question from Oncologist: Do you want the �medication� via IV or injection? (Why does he not explains the pros and cons for either option. Come on make it easier for your cancer patient)
Answer in form of a question from me:  How much liquid is being pumped into me?
Q: 250 ml (that is the equivalent of a small bottle of water, for me I just see an elephant injection in the back of my mind)
A: I think I will go for IV. I assume by injection would be a challenge, as this is a lot of liquid

Oncologist: Before you go upstairs (the dreaded 'room of doom and gloom' as I see it), the chief oncologist wants / needs to talk to you. She will explain why �opting� out is not a good idea. You have to listen to her.
Answer: That is fine (wheel her in, can�t wait for this lecture)

The summary, this little interaction was comical. A lady in a white coat enters the room (she must have been hovering around outside, as she was in the room within a second of my oncologist mentioning her). I don�t recall her saying hello, she did not look at me, forget shaking hands or any type of greeting. The rattled of the reason why this is the biggest mistake of my life, asked me to think very carefully about this. All I replied was that I had thought about it, and with that she left as quickly as she had entered. Safe to say, her well-rehearsed little speech did not give her the result she was hoping for. I am clearly not following Protocol!!

With that over, I was asked to go back to the waiting room and wait another hour and a half, before a chair became available in the' room of doom and gloom'.

I asked Geoff to take a photos of the liquid Heceptin / Trastuzumab  they set up for me, just to check that they didn�t inadvertently pump Chemo into me.

What wasn�t helpful and I blame myself. I had a brought a book to read, the Insider by Prof. Dr Peter Yoda, which was a mistake. He mentions in the book that the research of Heceptin was only conducted and published by Roche, the manufacturer. I did contemplate for a short second, whether to rip the drip out or not. I didn�t, I am committed now to going along with this for 6 months, but not a year. So that will be the next positive constructive conversation with my oncologist.

Later that evening, I had a long conversation with my �sister of cousin in law�(?), Cathy, who has been a nurse for years and is quite familiar with many cancer products used to treat patients. It was great talking to her. She told me about the lesser side effects of Heceptin, besides Heart failure and waking up this morning, she was right with most of them.
I feel like I have been run over by a bus, every joint in my body aches and moving is a challenge. I decided that if this is what it might feel like to get to 100, I am happy to leave this planet before that. My head is killing me and I could not sleep. But, it�s apparently normal, so hopefully these signs will go soon.
I am so pleased with the �travel sick bands�. Thank you Rhea. I started to feel sick last night and put the band on. Success! Whether they  worked or whether it is simply in my mind, I actually don�t care, the feeling of nausea disappeared.

So on an up. I am booking my flight to Mallorca today, having had a reply from Klaus. I have a feeling that this will be a very interesting ( there is that word again!) trip and I am looking forward to it.