Dear Family, ( Geoff, Kyla, Rhea, Jack, Mutz and Dad)
I am struggling big time, mentally, right now. I feel I need to see someone, not sure who.
On paper my cancer was cut out, my lymph nodes which they removed were �clean�, so technically I am cancer free.
Everything in me is screaming not to continue with chemo. Not because I am a chicken or because I don�t want to feel like I have died for a few days every 21 days, but the possible long lasting damage which is being done by destroying my healthy cells, whilst hopefully killing bad cells, which might or might not have escaped and traveled down to my toes.
I have been researching alternative treatments, some of which seem impossible to follow, all of which are diet related and am seriously considering it instead of 18 months of consistent systematic poisoning of my body������..
As I said I need help or a sledge hammer.
You all know that my approach to illness has always been, �drink water and have a good sleep�. I have never supported the approach, of : Headache, take a tablet which causes the side effect of stomach ache, therefore take another tablet, which cases nausea, take another tablet, which causes constipation, take another tablet etc. You know where I am going with this.
It is ironic therefore that I am finding myself with breast cancer and now a full blown 18 months of, let�s call it �treatment�, rather than what I believe, the consistent systematically poisoning of the entire body.
I have spent the last week intensely researching and reading up on the �cancer topic�. Before I go into this, here are the facts.
I was diagnosed with an aggressive, fast growing, level 3, over 2 cm ( anything below is a lower level risk) ,hormone negative ( the shitier of the two options, �positive� being the better one) breast cancer. I have had confirmation that within the medical industry termonology, my cancer has been removed successfully and my lymph nodes ( which act like a boarder control for the rest of the body) which were removed, are in medical terms �clean�. Please note everyone, that if my lymph nodes had not been �clean�, I would not be writing this email to you all.
What does this mean? It means that according to medical belief , I am today cancer free. That means there is no cancer in my body. So why is the medical profession suggesting chemo and with that such a long hard session of chemo, lasting over 18 months? The answer to that is, that the chemo is designed to try and find bad cells, if I have them, if they have escaped and kill them. Fine. But, we don�t know if I have any bad cells today.
So why am I concerned?
In order to kill bad cells, chemo kills all cells, good and bad. This is why hair falls out, infections form because the immune system is being killed slowly and other illness are very likely to develop as a consequence. ( Brittle bones, liver, kidney and heart disease) The medical profession quote this as �being likely�, so this is not a side effect, like nausea ( I can just about handle this) , pain ( I can handle this) , mouth ulcers and fungus, ensure you can�t swallow properly ( I guess I would say I can handle this), skin irritation ( I can handle this), memory loss and confusion ( I can handle this, some would say, I suffer from this already J), mood swings ( nothing new here) etc.
So we are talking about what chemo can cause as a secondary condition / illness, not the side effects of the treatment. This is the big difference.
Let�s say, I develop a heart problems in two years, then there is a high chance of it having being caused by chemo. Let�s say I develop another cancer, than this is a high chance as a result of having a low immune system, killed by chemo and then what, start chemo again, and kill my cells even more?
With these concerns in mind, I have been spending this week researching. I never realised how much is �out there� and it is interesting to read, that on all the website I am looking at, people are referring to be �silenced by the authorities�. This means articles are deleted, taken off line frequently. When we consider that my treatment alone costs over �50000, then it doesn�t take much to work out the money machine, the chemical industry has developed. A definite motivator to suppress any counter argument to alternative ( cheaper, apparently more effective, long lasting ) solutions.
So what are they?
Dr Leonar Coldwell, makes a lot of sense, and to think that he has cured over 35000 cancer patients is hopeful. Patients in a much worse position than me. Please remember I don�t have cancer today!
Dr Leonar Coldwell, makes a lot of sense, and to think that he has cured over 35000 cancer patients is hopeful. Patients in a much worse position than me. Please remember I don�t have cancer today!
Dr Gerson, a much more severe approach, with apparently amazing results.
Research further suggests , there is a very stong argument that asapargus ( taken at least twice a day, each time 4 table spoon fulls with water) destroys bad cells and stops cancer cells from forming.
(Remember I don�t have cancer today!)
There is so much more and I wont bore with the details, although if are sitting on the loo with your mobiles, do click on the links above and have a read.
So, here are the two options.
Do chemo, be a sheep, follow the �tried and trusted, widely publised and highly funded medical = chemical route?
Take the alternative route, which contains no chemicals, therefore does not cause any future illness, but less written evidence is available due to the chemical and pharmaceutical industry steam rolling all over the published research and positive results?
Fucked either way? Why?
Well if I do chemo, and develop some other illness / or cancer in the future, I know I will blame myself for not having the balls to �opt against� it. If I chose the alternative route, ( trust me , a hard route, when you read what it means) and I develop some other illness / or cancer in the future, I know I will blame myself for not following medical advice����.
Fucker either way!
As I write this, I am divided, I will continue to research and will try to contact some of the alternative survivors, in the knowledge that I have 10 days before I either undergo a further session of systematic poisoning of my entire body or opt out.
Whichever way I decide to go, and only I can decide this, I ask you to respect it. It is my body and my life and currently it is harming my head thinking that I should follow a route that is against everything I believe in.
I understand if you are angry if I decide the alternative route, as it seems �safer� to go with the chemo, because this is what we read and hear about, but please respect me and me as person, woman, wife, daughter, mother and soon be grand mother. I have to live with whatever consequence there will be either way�����..
Right now, I am lost and it is eating me up, but I wanted to you know.
Love you all
Anke / Mami
xxxx
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