13.7.16
A sleepless night, not feeling very brave. Suzanne my best buddy has sent me various cancer links this morning , I had not realised that I could read up on the specific drugs I am about to receive and of course their side effects. I would be lying if I did not admit to being absolutely terrified.
So I had the blood test, and now we have a flat Tyre. Should pick up blood test in an hour and and drive straight to the hospital for chemo. There is no spare key for the spare wheel. What can I say.... My life of stress does not seem to change.
Geoff is taking the car to the dealership at the airport and I don't know if they will give him a replacement car or not. I most certainly did not expect this hours before the first chemo session.
When get there, the oncologist confirms that all is well, my blood test results are excellent and I am wondering what I am doing there, I feel fine, the blood test have come back great, yet I am about to have toxic poison pumped into my veins.
After a short consultation I am send 'upstairs' to the 'Chemo room'. The chair is comfortable, the drip terrifies me. It takes an hour to pump the liquid from various hanging bags into me. After that I get up and walk with Geoff to the car and we drive home. I feel strange, numb, not sure what to think.
As we get home, I go to bed and now looking back on it, feel like I died for 3 days and then woke up slowly. I remember lying in bed, unable to move, simply feeling weak, awful, sick and not on this planet. I feel I am no eloquent enough to describe that feeling.
I remember Geoff trying to get me to take a bit from a toast he brought up to me, but after one bite of it, I had enough and just wanted to close my eyes and die.
3 days later, my parents came to visit.By that time I was managing to sit up in bed and take in my surroundings again.
By day 4, I was up in the house and feeling better.
Day 5, Geoff and I wanted to drive to Malaga, but we did not get very far. A mistake. Geoff had to turn back after 20 min, I simply could not sit up and felt the movement of the car was too much. I went back to bed and surfaced on day 6, which is when I started to feel better.
After a short consultation I am send 'upstairs' to the 'Chemo room'. The chair is comfortable, the drip terrifies me. It takes an hour to pump the liquid from various hanging bags into me. After that I get up and walk with Geoff to the car and we drive home. I feel strange, numb, not sure what to think.
As we get home, I go to bed and now looking back on it, feel like I died for 3 days and then woke up slowly. I remember lying in bed, unable to move, simply feeling weak, awful, sick and not on this planet. I feel I am no eloquent enough to describe that feeling.
I remember Geoff trying to get me to take a bit from a toast he brought up to me, but after one bite of it, I had enough and just wanted to close my eyes and die.
3 days later, my parents came to visit.By that time I was managing to sit up in bed and take in my surroundings again.
By day 4, I was up in the house and feeling better.
Day 5, Geoff and I wanted to drive to Malaga, but we did not get very far. A mistake. Geoff had to turn back after 20 min, I simply could not sit up and felt the movement of the car was too much. I went back to bed and surfaced on day 6, which is when I started to feel better.
The strangest thing is after a few days, when I really felt 'normal again', I could not remember what the 'awful days had felt like'. This remind me of child birth, the most horrendous pain ( if was in my case for every three of our children's birth), yet once they are born and a few days later, you forget the pain. You remember it being awful, but you can't really remember it.
Well looking back at Chemo this is very similar.
Well looking back at Chemo this is very similar.
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